Mouth of Madness

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Once, a long time ago, I had a really weird dream about alien abduction.

I was in a huge warehouse space with a large crowd of people. We were all being held there somehow. Not restrained. Just…kept inside the warehouse into which we’d been corralled and were waiting around for…something to happen.

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Somehow I became aware that aliens were about to transport us out of there or do something else, and in fear, rage, and a sense of helplessness, I started yelling, “Are we gonna just stand here and let them do whatever they want? What are we doing?! Let’s get out of here!”

A stampede toward the door ensued, and then we were all running pell-mell down a hill while strange airships chased us in the air overhead.

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I remember the dream vividly, which is odd, because I generally don’t recall my dreams at all, much less ones that I had almost a decade ago.

So what am I talking about? The fact that I’ve been abducted by aliens probably? Or I’ve witnessed some kind of alien activity and been brainwashed to forget it?

No! I’m talking about the fact that out of the feeling of helplessness, frustration, fear, and anger, I wrote a paranormal comedy called Day for Night wherein the protagonist turns to supernatural means in order to “fight” an alien threat. That came out in 2016. (Cover redesign pending!)

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Now, two years later, I’ve finally finished the sequel. It’s not out yet. I still have to tweak it then send it to the publisher. Yeah, it’s light, yeah, it’s chick-lity, yeah, it’s comedy. But it’s mine! And it’s done!

And it did not take two years write. Oh, no. I had a wonderful case of writer’s block for well over a year that had me shackled and gagged in a dark basement until I finally made my heroic escape.

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I had no time to write the sequel, actually. I basically wrote it one chapter at a time on any Saturday that I could manage it over many, many months. Anytime “real life” encroached and I missed a Saturday, a sense of loss and an ever-increasing panic would consume me as if I had lost my child at a carnival or I’d woken from a nap to find everyone in the world gone.

After all: not a vampire. Not gonna live forever.

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And as far as the process of writing goes, it would be great if it was like floating in a rainbow, surrounded by ponies and fudge brownies and friendly dolphins.

But writing, when you’re even able to write, is like being in the mouth of madness: never satisfied, never good, never complete, never right, never ready, never strong, never worthy. Until the poles switch, and before it switches back to dull and wrong and rough and cheesy, it’s worthy and strong and ready and right and bold and fine and good.

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12 thoughts on “Mouth of Madness

    • Hi, Henry. God, I tried to make it shorter than the last one, and it ended up LONGER, lol! You might wanna rethink your offer !!! But thanks…………. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Writer’s block? Do I know it? Yo betcha! :/

    Mine has me in its throes since, like, 25 years at least. 😮 Guess I’ll never recover from it. Made everything wrong in my “Novel of the 21st Century” anyway, as it mutated from one overly long book into a trilogy … with not one volume ever finished and various alternative beginnings and endings and a bunch of weird ideas in the middle. I must say it was interesting, bordering on genius, but ultimately nothing but a stupid mess, scribbled by a stupid girl. 😦

    Well, today I’m still flexing my writing muscles in my blog, and in a foreign language. It will never become as glorious as my heroic space saga but it’s a kinda creative outlet. Good enough.

    =^.^=

    Liked by 1 person

    • Blogging IS a good outlet and really CAN be creative, Ms. O. Especially if you’re thinking in two or three different languages! Good for the ol’ synapses too.
      BTW–I just looked up what time is it in S. Africa, and it’s the UNGODLY HOUR OF 6:45 a.m. ! ! ! What in the name of all that’s holy are you doing awake and on the computer ???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Well, i guess we all have a different relationship with writing, myself I am not a writer, but someone who has read a lot, and decided to write my thoughts, ideas, or whatever on a blog, rather than on a book, a book I see it as a long time commitment, that like a long time relationship, that can go stale, and your heart not to be on it anymore, it requires a lot of commitment, and love, I guess you got to really love what you are writing about, and I use to read books like a mad man, and therefore my interests move from one thing, to another one, for a while i kept a diary, I sort of lost, it may be in a book box, somewhere, I guess.. I still have a dream diary near my bed, but rarely write on it.
    I wrote on Quora for about two years, answering, and I got a lot of people reading me even today, but I stop it, since it’s a company based in India, and some of the editors are real jerks, who not even knowing the subject, try to impose rules on you, as citations, and reject your post, and bring down your post on a whim, or some envious and vindictive individual, do not like what you write, do some trolling on you, I had a guy trolling on my post and accusing me at every post! I am more read there, than here, my own blog, as today I got 738,289 hits on Quora, here in WordPress 678,141 since October 2009! 😒
    My best post has 134,000 views in Quora, here same post only 136,374, the difference it’s here in WordPress has being four, and a half years, and on Quora only two years! 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️
    The good thing here in WordPress, nobody mess around with you, and tell what to do, you can block trolls, and you are your own editor, not in Quora.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Wow, your Quora experiences sound absolutely horrible! WordPress is DEFINITELY a better path in that regard, being left alone. That’s crazy. Why would they bother with such behavior?! A friend of mine had a similar experience with files he would get from a foreign country–I don’t remember which one–but he had to correct them for English broadcast, right? Evidently whoever was making the files had really bad attitudes. They never agreed with any of his changes (even though it was ESL for them), were rude, and complained to superiors enough that he decided to just leave after a while. Very very strange. Why were the Quora people so angry? Why did the ESL people think my friend didn’t know English language rules somewhat better than they did?
    He’s a writer too, and would commiserate with us heavily, I’m sure. I should get HIM to start his own WordPress blog! It helps to rant in here sometimes, too, lol. Writing in the end can be difficult and is usually always solitary. But it’s been nice connecting with folks in here, all of us more or less doing the same thing, and exchanging ideas and feelings.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Well, I in India guess a bunch of poor payed editors, with inflated egos sit at a desk, with nothing to do but read stuff they are not interested, but get paid for.
      Centuries of Colonialism, and hierarchical old structures, to keep people subservient and in line, are very much in place there.
      I just do not publish anymore on their site, a shame, since I believe their premise to be smart, ask a question and let someone answer.
      Everyday I got hundred of readers there, just do not post answers anymore.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Yeah, that’s kinda sad, and a big waste (of your insights). Oh, well. Not many have been able to fight against centuries of colonialism and old hierarchical structures, as you said. I assume I would knuckle under, too, sooner or later, and probably have, in my own way, here in the U.S. It’s wise of you to remove that stress from your life in the end. Who needs it! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well, I like exposure on my writing, but who needs, someone to censor you?
      Bottom line, it’s not a free tribune, it may work in India not here!
      Take care dear.

      Liked by 1 person

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