JUST BECAUSE

sawbrief

Just because the days are stressful lately and this excerpt sent to me by a friend from David Foster Wallace’s “The Pale King” feels, to me, like a meditation, a gentle inundation, a still, sweet, patient hush…

Past the flannel plains and blacktop graphs and skylines of canted rust, and past the tobacco-brown river overhung with weeping trees and coins of sunlight through them on the water downriver, to the place beyond the windbreak, where untilled fields simmer shrilly in the A.M. heat: shattercane, lamb’s-quarter, cutgrass, sawbrier, nutgrass, jimsonweed, wild mint, dandelion, foxtain, muscadine, spine-cabbage, goldenrod, creeping charlie, butter-print, nightshade, ragweed, wild oat, vetch, butcher grass, invaginate volunteer beans, all heads gently nodding in a morning breeze like a mother’s soft hand on your cheek.

nightshade-og

An arrow of starlings fired from the windbreak’s thatch. The glitter of dew that stays where it is and steams all day. A sunflower, four more, one bowed, and horses in the distance standing rigid and still as toys. All nodding. Electric sounds of insects at their business. Ale-colored sunshine and pale sky and whorls of cirrus so high they cast no shadow. Insects all business all the time. Quartz and chert and schist and chondrite iron scabs in granite. Very old land. Look around you. The horizon trembling, shapeless. We are all of us brothers.

649-09166985

 

33 thoughts on “JUST BECAUSE

  1. Its sort of strange at how I see what is happening……..I have so self-isolated for such a long time,I really have no concept on how others are feeling. Being told to stay home is a every day event and so I feel no alarm,no fear (other then when I had to my cheetah a bag of catfood),no worries.

    But I do have complete empathy for those who are affected,losing jobs,getting sick,running getting cabin fever.

    As terrible as this all is,its just a walk in the park for me. Weird….

    Liked by 3 people

    • COMPLETELY get where you’re coming from! We’re such lone wolves already, me and my husband, this is no change from our usual lives. But, yeah, losing jobs and, worse, getting sick…and 24/7 it’s the only thing on the news…constant worry and confusion will take its toll. Even on us, Michael, eventually, I think. Stay well!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I think it helps I have no TV and only catch the headlines. I did venture out to get toona fish from Subway and had to order from behind a yellow line. I worry about my family of course and my two nursing angels as well as my friends….I keep hoping that the warmer weather will help kill this virus and buy us time for the Defense Department to come up with a cure.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for sharing, Stacey. It is very serene. I can feel myself lying in an open field of green grass. The sun is shining and a kite is flying. The persistent breeze drifts it and my thoughts. Gently. It is, indeed, “a still, sweet, patient hush…”

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Yeah, this is just an excerpt plucked out of something by a friend, and I haven’t even heard of this author until my friend brought him up to me, so I don’t know what the larger work is like. It seems like cheating, like CliffsNotes, to just present these paragraphs without having even read the entire thing. But I just fell in love with the words and the cadence. And the last line, of course, which is even more impactful these days, I think.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That’s writing to soothe souls, poetic animism. It could even be post-apocalyptic. A Cormac McCarthy landscape, under the ale-coloured sun.
    Stace, I was wondering what happens to California’s huge homeless army under ‘lockdown’? No more handouts? Are they seen by authorities as a CV-19 transmitting menace? Rounded up and incarcerated?
    Do you ever wonder if we are already living in a zombie movie? The days are beginning to merge here, time slowing. People talk of returning to ‘normal’. A part of me thinks that has gone, never to return.
    At least you have finally eluded that killing car commute. πŸ€—πŸ€—

    Liked by 3 people

      • Yeah, Sha, and then there’s….that. And I could get into all that and there’s a lot to say, but just thinking about it, unlike what the end of the post says, is not making me feel empowered that I’m not the only one who might be confused and suspicious about what reality actually entails. I just feel helpless and even angrier than usual, which defeats the whole point of this post. I’m jacked up enough as it is, like all the time. I gotta decompress, woman! πŸ™‚

        Like

      • Yeah… we are living in interesting times! In order to navigate through this I’ve resorted to my childhood trick of living as a multiple personality person, as I’m not the one being punished and abused, the “other” is. In the current case, I’m just two people. One is the usual rebel, the Unbeliever, engaging unpopular opinions. The other just goes along with the madness or whatever it is, agreeing with the consensus, maintaining the mandated distance, being helpful but without crossing socially set boundaries and definitely avoiding public discussions contradicting current mob beliefs.

        Liked by 2 people

    • Yeah, good question, Kevin. They are being rounded up for some temporary shelters, but I know a lot of homeless loathe shelters and won’t go. It seems like, to me, they’re safer outside in their camps than crammed inside with stale air and all that. Not sure what the thinking is there, trying to shoe-horn them into one indoor space.
      There’s been a lot of talk that we’ll never get back to “normal” after this.
      The days really ARE merging, fuzzy and foggy, one into the other, aren’t they? What’s going on?
      I’ll never read another zombie book after this ever again.
      And yeah, the commute has been commuted…for now. But really, I shouldn’t utter a single complaint about my *commute* considering how short it is compared to some. I just have a terrible temper while driving. Anywhere!
      πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Yeah, Sha, when there’s a mob, it’s an uphill climb to penetrate and/or change minds. I don’t have my head buried in the sand, personally. I’m just physically and mentally exhausted. You’re at least several years older than I am, so I deeply admire your seemingly endless strength and vitality! πŸ™‚ Fight the good fight!

    Like

    • It might not be for you Stace….it’s a study arguing that WTC building 7 was not brought down by office fires on 9/11….and therefore had to be a controlled demolition.
      More importantly, how are you holding up? Maureen and I have, generally, been enjoying this unexpected interlude. I’ve still got work to plough through, but being at home is my thing anyway. Maureen is laid off until the lockdown fades. We can get through a couple more months like this, financially, which is more than many can do. For the first time, a cow came up to me and licked my hand yesterday. Sounds daft, but it was immensely moving. Wildlife is more abundant in the fields where we live, as if it can suddenly show itself in the absence of humans.
      Can you get out to walk regularly? How does the short-term future look? Do you know of any nearby CV deaths? I’ve wrapped you and your husband in a ribbon of effulgent light, as part of the 8.30 a.m, prayer/meditation where we chant for peace, compassion and groundedness. Can you feel it? πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Hi, Kev! Good to hear from you! Omg–I’ve been SO SWAMPED here at home with work. Even though it’s less stress to just go into the bedroom then come out and flop down on the sofa afterwards, they’ve been packing the schedule so tight [insert obscene comment/joke here] I’ve been more stressed out the past two weeks than I have the past year. A lot of it has to do with things just not working and/or having to figure them out on the fly, which isn’t my forte.

    I’m glad you and Maureen are doing reasonably well and will stay above water for a couple months. That’s a little breathing room, at least! Whew. We’re generally fine with being home, too, so it’s not that big a deal for us to be locked in here and entertaining ourselves. But I gotta say…not sure about the ribbon of light! Were you doing it all week? We were doing well most of the week but had a big argument yesterday where the mood is just dissipating today. So maybe your lights held it off all week. Hey, did you take the day off thinking about us Friday?! Then it’s your fault, Kev!

    No, but seriously, thank you. There’s been a general atmosphere of calm and relative well-being that I have no problem attributing to you at least a good percentage. Thank you for thinking of us. I’m continuing the mantra and the visualization, but for some reason it’s REALLY hard for me to picture the light surrounding people. Any tips? I should look it up and not bother you. Hopefully I can get into some posts this weekend. I’m woefully behind. I think you put a new Essex chapter out! Yes!

    Like

    • Ribbon of light? Hmmmm, well it’s just something I imagine, like a gigantic bow wrapped around a birthday present. I have no idea if it works Stace, I just like doing it. I think of myself with my feet in the soil, grounded, and then a healing, golden light coming from my heart and wrapping around everyone I know, and on some days the whole world. With some meditation, you can make up whatever you like in your mind. Others come with strict instructions. I guess you’re finding out whether it’s for you?
      Glad you’re adapting to the new regime. Some days I think I’m in a dream, where time is unfathomable. There’s light at the end of my work tunnel this week – and the plan is to crack on hard with OOE so that it’s done before COVID-19 comes for me.
      πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
      πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
      πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
      πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
      πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

      Like

  7. Thanks for that, Kevin. I see your considerations flow much farther than mine–the whole world! I haven’t gotten that far yet but like the idea. I’ll work my way there. It does feel like a dreamy dream these days, doesn’t it? It’s a little scary. Like being poked and prodded with that song all the time now, instead of only once in a while, “Row, row, row your boat…” like a constant reminder that everything around us is ephemeral, possibly illusionary……
    πŸ™‚ + 13

    Like

  8. A person who can stay alone, unperturbed and blissful, now or any other time has achieved something, he or she is not even aware of, is ultimate consciousness. And frankly speaking, it doesn’t matter.

    Like

    • Hi, Sandomina. So true. Remember this quote? “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
      Forgot who said it, but same idea.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. In time of turmoil, and crisis, serenity, and peace of mind, if anything to help those in real trouble.
    It should pass.
    Best wishes for you, and your loved ones Stacey.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks John. Funny thing, though. I looked up several of the plants he mentioned ’cause they sound so exotic and interesting, right? Like: shattercane, nutgrass, vetch. But they just sort of look like weeds, lol

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s